PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
