I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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