And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I need moral support for this bender
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
