But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
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Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize