So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Randomize
