Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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