I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
