you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize