My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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