so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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