woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize