Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
