I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
