I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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