she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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