so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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