I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
