if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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