I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i came on her dog
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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