it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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