i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
