I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
