Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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