Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
