Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
