..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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