I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
