9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
