I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
