Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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