and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
