just tell him i said nine months
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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