We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
