Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
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Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
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Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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