I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
