You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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