I'm eating all of the evidence.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
