Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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