I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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