He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
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