no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
