I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
