Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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