Can i not drive my cunt home
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
