I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
