is your mom at the bar?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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