It's Friday. Sex?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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