Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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