New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
