Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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