I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
