Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
