SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
