How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just had sex bonerless
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
