she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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