Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize