"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
