my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
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