I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
