There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
