WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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