he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I love you.
Bad choice
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
