Taylor Swift is so right about you.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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