im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
