how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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