Whod you bang
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
