when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
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YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
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thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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